The Elf Returns

Santa sent his helper Elf for a second season of mischief and behaviour watching.  He showed up on December 1st, sitting on the back of Chance's kitchen chair, holding a note.  Apparently he's back so that he can watch over the house and report back whether our house has boys that are naughty or nice. 

Take a guess at what the report might just be.  Well if you were in my house on a frequent basis, all you would hear would be words like FART, TOOT, BURP, Jingle Bells Mommy Smells, NICE UNDERPANTS, and the list goes on.  You would think it would only be coming from the almost-8 year old's mouth, but NO.  It's both of them, and it's bad.

Chance spots it first as he is always the first up for school.  Moments later Brooks is up and Chance is telling Brooks all about it.  Brooks has the half squinched eye, like YA RIGHT will this stupid elf change any of my behaviour?

Later in the day after Chance returns home from school, I over hear him telling Brooks:  "Now Brooks, you can't sing that song any more.  The Elf will hear and you will be put on the naughty list.  Do you want to be on the naughty list or the nice list?"  Answer: Naughty List.

At least for an hour or so, I thought it would at least work with Chance until at dinner the Elf falls straight off the chair and nose-dives on to the table. 

Chance pauses for a few moments of concentrated staring and proceeds to say to me: "No offense or anything mom, but our elf kinda looks like a stuffed animal".

And ever since that, apparently the need to be on the nice list hasn't been so strong!



Quote of the Day

My field trip was really great mom.  We got to see a log cabin.  And I almost made friends with a grasshopper.  I sat down, and he was on a rock next to me, just looking at me.  Then Nathan threw a stick at him and made him jump away.

Quote of the Day

"I heard Middle School is really awesome.  You get 7 periods and get to go to different classes.  And you know the BEST part?  You get all the hot chocolate you want, for FREE.  That's what I'm most excited about."

Communication

Me: "Chance, how is Katherine?  Is she still your girlfriend?"

Chance: "Well sort of.  I don't know really."

Me: "What do you mean, how do you not know?"

Chance: "Well you see mom, we aren't exactly communicating."

The Question

Now what I am about to tell you is TOP SECRET.  Do not mention this or I will be dead meat.  REALLY.

First, Read 2 posts down........  then come back to this one.

Day after I wrote that Quote of the Day, Chance tells me that he took ole K. aside after school, behind the propped open door in the corner to be precise, and whispered into her ear, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

He told me that Lavinia might be jealous.  I said, no worries, Lavinia is thousands of miles away, but to keep in mind that marrying an Italian/German lady might have it's advantages one day.  Keep your options open.

K apparently told him, "Yes, I think you are the kind of guy for me".  And so it was.  And apparently still is.  I may get to meet this broad at the park tomorrow if she shows.

My Angel

Brooks was in bed for about 20 minutes, and then starts yelling out, "Daddy, Daddy! Daddy!" which really isn't all that uncommon. 

Ryan goes in there and says, "Yes, Brooks, what do you need?"

"Mommy"

"Well, Brooks, Mommy is busy in the kitchen right now.  Can I tell her something for you?"

"Tell Mommy, love her."

Now if that doesn't top the cake, make your heart overflow with warmth, turn my horrible pouty day and make it all feel better again, I don't know what does. 

Quote of the Day

"Mom, Katherine even likes to sit next to me in class.  I think she will make a pretty good girlfriend."

QUOTE OF THE DAY, DUDE

We were at Nanny and Pappy's having dinner with the fam.  All the cousins were in the backyard playing baseball, when Chance comes inside with a long, pouty face.  Ryan asks him what's wrong:

"Cavan's been calling me names," he says.  "What was he calling you?" asks Ryan.

"He keeps calling me DUDE."

Happy Birthday Brooks

"I'm TWO" is what you hear a lot of lately around our house, as Brooks hap-hazardly holds up 2 fingers to show his new age.  Sometimes the 2 fingers make it up, sometimes it's a mix of 3 or 4 fingers twisting and turning.  Two.  I can't believe it.  Seems like yesterday I was holding my little ball of total joy in my arms.  With two, many of those hugs and lovey moments get greatly diminished.  I mean, who needs hugs when there's so much to see and do and tear apart!  I've even been allocated to the floor for bedtime book reading......"No, Brooks sit there" he tells me while pointing to the rocking chair, and then directing me to sit beside him on the floor.  My little man is growing up.

Brooks has this overwhelming love for animals.  So much so that we have to hug pictures of animals as we see them in books, bend down to kiss the little beetle crawling across the sidewalk, or blow kisses to the lizard that has escaped in to the house. 

I had to do something for this little animal lover on his birthday.  So we called in the farm animals and had them come to the house!  We invited all the neighborhood kids and a handful of Brooks's little people friends and had our very own petting zoo in the front yard. 

I had done some serious researching of farms, and found one that offered to bring quite a variety of animals.  And boy did they.  The trailer arrived and off jumped the miniature horse and her 2 week old foal mule.  

Then came the miniature cow......I didn't even know miniature cows (called Zebu) existed.  They do.

Then off jumped the pig, who immediately found a cool spot in the grass and was never heard from again. 

They say pigs are smart, and I can see why.  This little dude knew just how not to get any attention by hiding......he should have informed the poor chickens who were being chased around like crazy.

Or the bunnies who I am sure felt like the hour long petting zoo was NEVER GOING TO END.

I didn't really think through the whole goat thing.....my first problem was that I really thought there was going to be only 2 goats, but when an entire herd went flying off the back of the trailer in to my yard, I was soon regretting the fact that a.) we had the yard mowed BEFORE the party and b.) that I allowed the goats to be on my yard at all.....at least now we don't need mowers at all cause all the grass is practically gone!

My favorite was the alpaca, with his pointy teeth and aloof attitude.  He has to be a relative of the camel, and I was just waiting for some poor kid to get spit on or stepped on, but luckily it didn't happen.

So all in all, I hope this is one that the little man will remember, he sure seemed over the top happy, and is still talking about how "animals come to Brooks's house".

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKS.  YOU ARE SUCH A BLESSING IN OUR LIVES. 

CRY BABY

First week back to school had some rough spots, but all in all we got off to a good start. 

Wednesday, however, Chance got off the bus with slouched shoulders and said it was the WORST DAY he's EVER had.

Nathan stole his nice pencil, and made him use his not so nice pencil.  And the teacher basically just said deal with it.  This was heartbreaking and I got to hear all about it.  As soon as the story was over, little man pipes in, looking straight at Chance in the most appropriate moment he could have possibly chosen and says CRY BABY.

This sets off a severe reaction, clearly hurts Chance's feelings.  Makes him get up from the couch and run to his room in tears, with the little toot chasing right behind chanting CRY BABY CRY BABY CRY BABY.

I'm sitting there, having to cover my mouth cause really it was just timed so right, and I'm still puzzled how Brooks knew to say it at the most appropriate time, and with the most appropriate dagger-in-the-side tone.  I'm puzzled how he knew that phrase at all.  Maybe Chance is getting a taste of his own medicine.  Needless to say, I cleared that laugh off my face, told Brooks he hurt Chance's feelings and consoled the poor boy.  I have a feeling this is just the beginning.  I need a parenting book and fast.